Assorted Chaos

Unfortunately, a hard-to-avoid rock on a mountain road removed my front bumper from my car a couple months ago.

Fortunately, I have experienced random plastic parts coming off cars before and kept a supply of wire in my car kit.

Unfortunately, my car was too low to the ground and I couldn’t remove the damaged plastic on the bottom.

Fortunately, the part banging against my wheel was reachable and could be ducktaped out of the way.

Unfortunately, that part came loose many times and mucked up my front tires.

Fortunately, I was due for new tires and a state inspection anyway.

Unfortunately, the money I would have had to spend on my car went to fixing a cavity instead.

Fortunately, my uncle fixed it up at our family reunion.

Unfortunately, part of the bumper came off again on the way home.

Fortunately, I landed a contract with a more steady source of income, and the new job had work from home days, so I could easily schedule an inspection and tire service.

Unfortunately, a woman hit my car right before my inspection.

Fortunately, she was a decent human being who insisted on giving me her contact information rather than just running away.

Unfortunately, she called the cops to report the accident and I had expired plates.

Fortunately, the cop was feeling generous and didn’t give me a ticket.

Unfortunately,my car failed the inspection and my mechanic wanted WAY too much money for tires ($700?!!!).

Fortunately, I knew a reasonably priced tire place that a former roommate used and scheduled an appointment.

Unfortunately, my car key got lodged in the ignition right in front of an Old Navy, and the car refused to start OR switch off.

Fortunately, I had forgotten about going out to lunch with a friend and still had my tasty packed lunch with me, thereby avoiding a lack-of-dinner migraine.

Unfortunately, I left my cell phone at home.

Fortunately, I had my computer and Old Navy had free Wifi.

Unfortunately, none of my friends were on Facebook or Google Hangouts when I logged on.

Fortunately, a coworker eventually replied to my message.

Unfortunately, he was busy.

Fortunately, a bit later, he was not busy and offered to swing by right before I was going to call a tow company.

Unfortunately, my theory about forcing the ignition with a jumpstart so we could get the transmission unstuck a failure.

Fortunately, my coworker knew the trick for forcing the transmission to unlock and freed my key when he put my car in neutral, thus saving me oodles of money.

Unfortunately, I had no beer to share with him right then and there because he deserved it.

Fortunately, through the kindness of others and dumb luck, I was able to drive my car to the nearest brewery and buy some tasty North Carolina beer.

This article sums up my co-workers trick nicely. May you never need to use it.