Glasses are a recent development for me. Unlike my parents and my sister, I don’t need them to see straight. There’s no danger of me colliding with a mail box or mistaking a bush for a person if I walk out of the house without them on. I wouldn’t be able to read a computer screen without developing an obnoxious headache, but I otherwise don’t need them to see.
As a new glasses wearer, I’m discovering that there are more than a few downsides to relying on two pieces of glass for proper eyesight.
One Good Storm=Blindness
Rain becomes more problematic when you wear glasses. There are no built-in window wipers for glasses, so unless you have an umbrella or a wide-brim hat handy when it rains, you will begin a futile fight against the water sticking to your glasses. Plus, neither an umbrella nor a hat can prevent glasses from fogging up.
They’re Never Clean
Unless you invest in good cleaning supplies (which I intend to do eventually), there will always be a spot or two of smutz on your glasses. No shirt, no Kleenex, and no pants legs you rub them with will get rid of the smutz. Most times, the spot just gets worse.
Proper Fit is Elusive
With my glasses, there is a thin line between them being so tight my head feels trapped in a vice and sliding off my face like a kid on a sled. Adjusting them isn’t terribly easy either as you have to fiddle with the tiniest of tiny screws and the tiniest of tiny screwdrivers.
Cats/Children Believe They Are The Best Toys EVER
I don’t know what it is about glasses that screams “PLAY WITH ME” to cats or young children, but the day is never complete if my cats don’t manage to bat my glasses of my desk at least once. I’ve also learned the hard way that its better just to take them off when holding babies. Unless you happen to think that having baby teeth marks on your frames is a fashion statement.
They’re Easy to Lose/Forget
I haven’t yet asked where my glasses are only to find them on my head. But it’s only a matter of time. I have, however, left them at home, church, in my car, restaurants, and the comics shop. Why I don’t own a second pair yet is beyond me.
I’m rattling off all these cons about wearing glasses, but there is one pro that ultimately negates every complaint I put down on this page. And that is…
The moment you slide your glasses on, your IQ rises by fifty points. Or at least everybody else’s impression of your IQ does. It’s no mistake that I wore my glasses for my latest round of job interviews, or that I wear them when I’m doing a presentation in front of faculty. Even though many folks wear contacts these days, glasses will never go out of style because contacts will never radiate intelligence and competence like glasses do.
Despite the un-fun aspects of wearing them, I love my glasses, and often I wear them even when I’m not working at the computer. Because if my glasses had something to say, it would be “Geek and damn proud of it.”